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ADHD and your doctor (GP): what to say so you're not dismissed

Appointments with your doctor (GP) are short. With ADHD, the important thing you meant to say is often the thing you remember on the bus home.

So write it down first. Tick what applies. Take this page with you, or hand it over.

Tick boxes don't save. Screenshot or print the page when you're done.

For men: ADHD in men: what to tell your doctor.

Under 18? Ask your doctor (GP) about a referral to a paediatrician, or to CAMHS in the UK. Right to Choose (England only) and the adult sections below may not apply yet. The cycle and "during the appointment" sections still do.

Before the appointment

Ask for a double appointment if you can. Say it's about ADHD and you have a few things to cover. Write your top 3 points at the top of the page. If you only get through those, you've done it. Bring someone if it helps. They can take notes or remind you what you wanted to say. Bring any tracking you've done (mood, sleep, cycle). Bring a list of current medication, including supplements and contraception. It's fine to say at the start: "I've written things down because I lose track when I'm put on the spot."

Your ADHD symptoms over your life

ADHD symptoms usually start in childhood, so a specialist will ask about your whole life. Note examples, not just labels.

If thinking about childhood brings up hard memories, you don't have to write it all. You can say "this is hard to talk about."

As a child: school reports ("daydreamer", "could try harder", "chatty"), losing things, being late, trouble with homework. Or the girls' version: quiet, anxious, "too sensitive", perfectionist, worked twice as hard for the same marks. As a teenager: risk-taking, friendship struggles, mood swings, coping strategies you invented As an adult: work, money, relationships, home, forgotten appointments, unfinished projects How it affects you now: what's actually going wrong in day-to-day life What you do to cope: lists, over-preparing, staying up late to catch up, masking Anyone who knew you as a child who could give the specialist information. If that isn't possible or safe, say so. School reports or old records can help instead.

Your cycle

Do your focus, mood or emotions get worse before your period? Do your ADHD meds seem to work less well at certain times in your cycle? Have you tracked it for 2 to 3 cycles? Bring it. Ask: "Could this be PMDD?" Ask: "Is adjusting my medication around my cycle something we could look at with my prescriber?" (Some specialists do this. Don't change your dose yourself.)

See: ADHD and your cycle

Perimenopause

Have your periods changed (closer together, further apart, heavier, lighter)? Have your ADHD symptoms got worse in recent years? Brain fog, forgetting words, overwhelm? Hot flushes, night sweats, sleep changes, low mood, anxiety, joint aches? Ask: "Could some of this be perimenopause, and how does it interact with my ADHD?"

If you're over 45, UK NICE guidance says perimenopause can usually be diagnosed from your symptoms, without a blood test. Outside the UK, ask your doctor what guidance they follow.

See: ADHD perimenopause survival guide

Want this on cards you can keep by the bed? Perimenopause card pack (£2).

Medication timing

When do your meds wear off? Is there a crash in the afternoon or evening? Do they affect your sleep or appetite? Ask: "Could the timing, dose or type be adjusted?" Ask: "Who adjusts my ADHD meds: you, or the specialist team?"

HRT questions

Research on how HRT and ADHD medication interact is still limited. These are questions to ask, not answers.

"Am I a suitable candidate for HRT?" "Could HRT help with any of my ADHD-type symptoms, or my mood?" "Is it safe to take HRT alongside my ADHD medication and anything else I take?" "If I start HRT, should my ADHD meds be reviewed?"

Other conditions

ADHD often comes with other conditions. Ask about any that sound familiar:

Anxiety or depression Trauma or PTSD (past or ongoing) PMDD Binge eating or other eating difficulties (see The eating you can't stop) Autism Sleep problems (late body clock, insomnia, restless legs) Migraine Joint hypermobility, pain, fatigue, dizziness when standing Alcohol or drug use to cope Self-harm or thoughts of suicide

Ask: "Could any of these be linked to my ADHD, and can we look at them too?"

Asking for an ADHD referral (and NHS Right to Choose in England)

If you don't have a diagnosis yet:

Say clearly: "I'd like to be referred for an adult ADHD assessment." Explain how your symptoms affect work, relationships or daily life. Ask: "What is the waiting time locally?"

In England, you may be able to use NHS Right to Choose. This means you can choose which NHS-funded provider assesses you. Some have shorter waits.

Your GP has to make the referral. You can't self-refer.
The provider must hold an NHS contract, and your GP must agree the referral is clinically appropriate.
Ask: "If I'm diagnosed through a Right to Choose provider, will you agree to shared care for my medication?" Not every GP accepts shared care from every provider.
Some providers keep prescribing if your GP won't agree to shared care. Many don't. Ask before you choose.
If you choose another provider, your original local referral may close. Check before you decide.

Right to Choose is England only. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, ask your GP what the local route and waiting time are.

Outside the UK, your doctor is usually still the first step. Ask the same question: "I'd like to be referred for an adult ADHD assessment."

US: see your primary care doctor. They can refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Insurance and cost vary.
Canada: see your family doctor. They can refer you. Waits vary by province.
Australia: see your GP. They can refer you to a psychiatrist. Costs and waits vary.
New Zealand: see your GP. Some GPs can now assess adult ADHD. Others refer you to a psychiatrist, usually private.
Ireland: see your GP. They can refer you to your local mental health team. HSE adult ADHD clinics are not in every area. You can also go private.

During the appointment

Read from your list. That's fine. If you come across as calm and organised, say so: "I'm good at looking fine. This list is what's actually happening." If you cry, carry on. It doesn't mean you should stop. Ask your doctor (GP) to write down anything important, or write it down yourself before you leave the room. Before you leave, ask: "What happens next, and when?" If you feel dismissed, you can ask: "Can you note in my records that I asked for this?"

After

Write down what was agreed. Put any follow-up dates in your phone straight away. If you don't hear back when they said, chase it.

Waiting for a referral and need someone to talk it through with? The Direct Line (18+): a month of WhatsApp support with me. £10 for a month's support. One payment, nothing renews.

If you're struggling right now

In the UK:

Samaritans: call 116 123, free, any time
Shout: text SHOUT to 85258, free, any time (if talking is too much)
18 or under? Childline (UK): 0800 1111, free, or chat at childline.org.uk
NHS 111 (England, Wales, Scotland): call 111 and choose the mental health option. In Northern Ireland, call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000
999 or A&E: if your life is at risk or you can't keep yourself safe

Not in the UK? In an emergency call 911 (US, Canada), 000 (Australia), 111 (New Zealand) or 112 (Ireland and Europe). To talk to someone: call or text 988 (US, Canada), 13 11 14 (Australia), call or text 1737 (New Zealand), 116 123 (Ireland). All countries, and lines for young people.

General information from lived experience and published research. Not medical advice.

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